Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Blue Cheese

We are buying a house that needs lots of 'TLC'. A real fixer upper in a bad way. I had intended my next post to be about that but elbow pain delayed my writing anything until this stray thought stuck in my head.

A long time ago, I was stationed at Hahn AB Germany. I was married. I was young, pretty self absorbed and pretty happy. One of the routines my wife and I had was eating out at the base club. I always started my meals with a salad topped with blue cheese dressing.

Now, I never thought of myself as having a favorite salad dressing before that. As a matter of fact, I always ordered random dressings because it was easier for me to decide what I didn't like than what I did like. Without thinking about it, blue cheese dressing became my dressing of choice while at Hahn.

When Hahn AB closed down, my wife and I moved to Spangdahlem AB, still in Germany. They had a much nicer club. My wife and I went there to eat, like we normally did at Hahn. It seemed so fancy to us at the time. When we ordered our meal, I was disappointed to hear the waitress say "I'm sorry but we are out of blue cheese dressing, would you like ranch instead?" Well, I tried the ranch but didn't like it very much.

"I'm sorry but we are out of blue cheese dressing, would you like ranch instead?" became the mantra at the Spangdahlem club. As a matter of fact, I never again had blue cheese dressing in a restaurant over the next 15 years. The second time we went and I heard that they were out of blue cheese dressing I remembering remarking to my wife that I bet they just didn't have blue cheese but didn't want to say it.

Every dinner out at the fancy club was a disappointment on some minor level because of this. It's not like I dwelled on it much, this is the most I've ever thought about it, just a disappointment to start each meal with.

Shortly after moving to Spangdahlem, my wife and I separated and divorced. I'm not in any way suggesting that ranch dressing brought down my marriage, but I wonder if in the rich and complex tapestry of our lives, little disappointments like those can bring down someone's quality of life enough to make any difference.

Does letting such small matters bother you noticeably affect the satisfaction you feel in life? Can it affect the general mood, behavior and more important decisions that shape our lives?

I much more readily express my opinions about matters small and large, but I also enjoy much more in my life and give little credence to that which I would suffer. Over all, no matter what is going on, I am satisfied with my life more now than when I was young and healthy in Spangdahlem.

I wonder, what would life be like if Spangdahlem had blue cheese dressing?